hookersorcake
hookersorcake:

I have a little cat I talk to now and then. She lives with me. I found her when she was a little kitten in the alley. So her name Allie. I wanted to call her Yoshima or Uncle Frank but my roommates at the time insisted on calling her Allie. 
So when I tell Allie something about wolf rituals or my invisible companion that lives in the underground tree, she looks at me like I’m giving her directions to cat treat garden and then she winks. She acts like she’s a sentient being that understands what I’m saying. And while on the casual level, I know she totally digs what I’m saying, its just… she don’t speak English. She speaks some weird fucking cat language.
Cat language is just a lotta cussing and a lot of meowing far as I can tell. I speak it. So I can look at her dead serious and say,
“Hey Meow Meow Poop Face,
do you find that your soul is full of grace
do you want to fall into this gorgeous space
is your heart  
wildly curious ever-after?
And Allie will just nod all chill, like I’m playing the bongos on her soul. And then she winks at me.
We share a knowing glance.
and everything falls away
there is only seeing
cuz animals are insanely real, dude.
I mean except when they’re being possessed by demons. Demons that just wanna fuck with you. Which is like 62% of the time.

This is beautiful.

hookersorcake:

I have a little cat I talk to now and then. She lives with me. I found her when she was a little kitten in the alley. So her name Allie. I wanted to call her Yoshima or Uncle Frank but my roommates at the time insisted on calling her Allie. 

So when I tell Allie something about wolf rituals or my invisible companion that lives in the underground tree, she looks at me like I’m giving her directions to cat treat garden and then she winks. She acts like she’s a sentient being that understands what I’m saying. And while on the casual level, I know she totally digs what I’m saying, its just… she don’t speak English. She speaks some weird fucking cat language.

Cat language is just a lotta cussing and a lot of meowing far as I can tell. I speak it. So I can look at her dead serious and say,

“Hey Meow Meow Poop Face,

do you find that your soul is full of grace

do you want to fall into this gorgeous space

is your heart  

wildly curious ever-after?

And Allie will just nod all chill, like I’m playing the bongos on her soul. And then she winks at me.

We share a knowing glance.

and everything falls away

there is only seeing

cuz animals are insanely real, dude.

I mean except when they’re being possessed by demons. Demons that just wanna fuck with you. Which is like 62% of the time.

This is beautiful.

th3-s1llyk1d:

tamburina:

How to Interpret Blood Spatters
1) Angular - If the victim was on the move, drops hit at an angle. The more oblique the impact, the longer the drop’s tail. The head points in the direction the person was traveling.
2) High Velocity - Misty, diffuse spatter is created by external force greater than 100 feet per second — which usually means a gunshot, an explosion, or (seriously) a sneeze.
3) Hair Impact - A traumatic impact between head and surface tends to leave a stain with feathered edges, like someone squished a loaded paintbrush against the wall.
4)   Hair Swipe - If the smear fades out in one direction, the head was likely bloody before contact. The lightest edge of the swipe points in the direction the head was traveling.
5) Fabric Swipe - More fluid than hair swipes, these stains sometimes display the imprint of the bloodied clothing. T-shirt weaves are often the easiest patterns to decipher.
via

Oh man this is good

UUUNNGGGGGHHHHHH…WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. I’M NOT TURNED ON. THAT ISN’T A HARD-ON IN MY PANTS. JUST SHUT UP.

th3-s1llyk1d:

tamburina:

How to Interpret Blood Spatters

1) Angular - If the victim was on the move, drops hit at an angle. The more oblique the impact, the longer the drop’s tail. The head points in the direction the person was traveling.

2) High Velocity - Misty, diffuse spatter is created by external force greater than 100 feet per second — which usually means a gunshot, an explosion, or (seriously) a sneeze.

3) Hair Impact - A traumatic impact between head and surface tends to leave a stain with feathered edges, like someone squished a loaded paintbrush against the wall.

4)   Hair Swipe - If the smear fades out in one direction, the head was likely bloody before contact. The lightest edge of the swipe points in the direction the head was traveling.

5) Fabric Swipe - More fluid than hair swipes, these stains sometimes display the imprint of the bloodied clothing. T-shirt weaves are often the easiest patterns to decipher.

via

Oh man this is good

UUUNNGGGGGHHHHHH…WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. I’M NOT TURNED ON. THAT ISN’T A HARD-ON IN MY PANTS. JUST SHUT UP.